I've been discussing High School memories with a friend of mine who ironically is a friend from college not High School. Apparently he had it very rough and was asking me if I ever thought "I remember that jerk! I should go back and take him apart!"
That totally was not me. I was a very shy kid that was convinced that no one ever wanted to waste the time talking to me. So usually my stuff is more like ‘oh why was I so shy! I should’ve talked to more people’. I still have to force myself to approach people. I’ll talk to anyone but I won’t make the first overture. I never want to put people out, which includes having to talk to me. People thought I was stuck up because of it. I found out years later that I was considered 'the biggest snob in the school'. It would comical if I didn't remember that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach from just making eye contact wih someone. What made it even worse it that I would have died if someone had realized how shy I was. I was supposed to be poised, in control, a leader. Yeah well.
Luckily I went to college away from home where nobody knew who I was. I could be someone totally new...and I was. I was out-going and friendly. I felt like I belonged and that people wanted to spend time with me. I've since regressed a bit and fall back into that 'shy' crap. It takes lots of practice for me to be out-going and if I'm not forced to work that 'muscle' I lose it.
So now I've bared my soul and my High School self wants to fall through the floor. But it's all about learning and growing right?
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